kaninang madaling araw

This morning, around three, my father and I went to our store to receive some sort of delivery(plastics, styros and the like). Instead of me seating in the passenger seat doing whatever I want(like reading a wattpad story, specifically 'the bachelor'), I was seated in front of the steering wheel. Why? some sort of practice. . . oh, Yeah I was learning to drive. . . for a long time now. . . :D

It was kind of fun though because cars, for public or private transportation, present in the road were only few, I can count using my fingers and they weren't present constantly. . .:D That means, i can drive whatever way I want . . .  hehe kidding. . . It was the fact that I won't cause any harm to anyone in case, just in case an accident occur. . . Luckily we got home safely . . . :D

While driving we noticed a number of people walking. I guessed they were off to church to go to the 'misa de gallo' and I was right! They were going to the direction of the church in that place. As we approach the church, my father told me that he was going to buy 'puto bumbong'. Good thing he told me ahead of time. . . We might miss the stall if he didn't inform me about it. . . :D  So there, after he bought puto bumbong,  I drive us home. . . 

Oh yeah, before I forget I, took a couple of pictures(down there) of the puto bumbong before I took a bite.

 One funny thing was I thought it wasn't warm because I saw a what-I-thought-to-be-a-block-of-margarine. Then I told my father about it while we were eating, 'hindi na pala mainit?' and I was like nudging the 'block'. My father checked if what I said was true, he patted his and mine, he didn't comment and continued on eating his part. . . Then, being the curious girl that I was, I did the same, It wasn't hot anymore but it was warm though. I started eating. . . Then, I realized that though there was margarine present, it wasn't the  what-I-thought-to-be-a-block-of-margarine that I thought it was, the what-I-thought-to-be-a-block-of-margarine was actually Cheese. . . fail. . . though it did really look like a block of margarine. There is one thing i failed to consider, margarine is not hard(unless it was cold) which means that when I nudged the what-I-thought-to-be-a-block-of-margarine it was not suppose to retain its shape if it was really margarine. . . .

events for the past sem and the break

For this school year, I got my first and second singko in my classcard... Before the semester ended, I thought I am failing in every subject I was taking. So, I openly accepted the big possibility that I'm gonna be dismissed from the university. I can't believe myself, cause I readily accepted the thought of being dismissed. Well, for one, I knew that I wasn't able to bring out the best in me (?). I may say, I lack inspiration / determination to study. I once told  a friend of mine that I wanted to stop for a while, take a breather from the stress it gave me. But, I can't make myself stand up and tell my parents about it. Recently my mom talked to me, about my studies, my failing grades and the likes, during those time I can't see myself stopping. It was like, " ano ba yan, yun lang, sumusuko ka na?". It was not something I saw myself to be in. I may not be as strong, as brave as intelligent as I think myself to be but I do believe that giving up is not something I should do. Not yet, there are still lots of possibilities. Failing is not the end of the world.
When I got a tres in two of my subjects, I don't know, I was relieved. due to the simple idea that I am not gonna be dismissed and when I got home my mom will not be in a worried state. I was happy, at least I passed two subjects.
It was the semestral break so I was free to do anything. though I really am not. :) During the first week of the break, we were allowed to stay at home and enjoy the freedom we are given. After that, we are told that our help in our store would be greatly appreciated. :)  That was how I got to spend my sembreak. Me and my sister went to our store everyday though not the usual hour regular workers do. :)
I was able to do some productive(?) things this sembreak. I got my Social Security Number, My student Permit (For driving), I started learning how to drive, I accompany my sister during her enrollment, I met a friend i can't remember how long I didn't see, I was able to finalize my change of Mat in systemone at the first day of the online registration (because I was too afraid to not be able to finalize it again,, :] )...
Speaking of systemone, during the online reg'n I made 'butingting' the options in my account. There I can see my Mini checklist, or simply I was able to see my grades, my beautiful grades :). I searched my checklist for my subjects last sem to know, let us say to confirm, my grades (the Singkos to be exact). I thanked the lord for I got a tres in one of my subject and a quatro in the other one, I didn't know how happy I was during that time I just know that I was relieved and happy. Actually, I really can't believe it I was expecting myself to be under probation this semester, due to the grades I got, I only got a warning but I don't know what a WARNING meant... :( hopefully it wasn't something Bad.... :)



***Maybe to edit some other time.... :)

just trying

Tears run down my face

They flow freely

Just like an open faucet.

Like a waterfall,

It flows uncontrollably

And they fall on their own.

I can’t stop it,

It won’t stop.

Because I know that the reason why I was crying will never come back to me.

His back was now facing me.

He was walking away from me.

Leaving me

Leaving everything behind

Everything we had.

Everything we shared.

All those things I cherished.

He can easily throw away.

Can easily forget

That sucks!

to be continued....

 it sort of sucks...:) don't know what title to give it...:D

supposed to be doing my reaction paperssSSS,,, but don't want yet...:) haha

LAZY!!!! go home na...

Additional Feet to the Spider

An assignment to one of my subjects this semester. I know that it was not the best, but I hope it was good enough. It was actually supposed to be an additional chapter to the book Gagamba written by F. Sionil Jose. But I think mine was not that connected to the novel. Here it is:

He was a typical Filipino, with the same skin tone, with eyes of a dark brown shade, with lips which is always ready to smile and an aristocratic nose which seems out of place but in actuality it only made him look unique and handsome. He was wearing eyeglasses with a thin black frame that will make him look intelligent if he was not yet. He was tall, having a body as if athletically built. He has an aura which gives anyone the idea that he was approachable. He looks friendly and has a readable expression only if you have known him for a long time. In a normal day, he can be seen in an elegantly pressed Americana or long sleeved polo, which he then paired with dark colored slacks and shiny black leather shoes. Today, like every other Sundays, he was in a simple polo shirt and a somewhat worn out jeans paired with a comfy step-ins or sandals.

He was on his way to his parents' small shop. It was one of the shops surrounding Camarin. It was this shabby looking shop. Anyone who has been there or has heard about it knew what this shop is and will enter it with no hesitation. But for someone who does not know what it was, he may not consider entering the shop for it does not seem to be something that still has life. It looks gloomy and kind of scary from the outside, dusts and grimes can be seen from outside, it seems its owner have no time to take good care of it. Seeing it for the first time, it may have been considered abandoned.

This shop was owned by Ryan Perez's parents. They have acquired it during their first few years as a couple. Based on what his parents usually tell him, they had this when he was five and his brother eleven. He was now twenty-four, that makes it around nineteen years old. The length of time that passed explains the horrible appearance it now has. It resembled the other shops that run down the street, old and unkempt.

Based on the memories he had as a child, the shop was one of the most decent looking in the row of shops found in the street of Ermita. It was alive then, and the situation it is in now was far from what it had been. During those times, his parents declared weekends as their clean up days. Whether it is their house or the shop, it is presentable and welcoming. Its appearance changed only when his big brother passed away seven years ago. He was a victim of hit and run, a very rare case during those times for people owning cars were very few. And, cars being very expensive, only a few can afford. He knew that his parents tried to go after the culprit, but knowing the way the government works during those periods they believed that they can give no justice for their son. If only they were stronger, richer, they would have gained justice for my brother. After his brother’s death, the three of them undergone depression and emotional instability.

For a few second, he stared at the situation it was in from outside. He can see the product of the nineteen year old uncleaned dirt and smoke that stuck to the old, rotten wood that held the glass window, which is at the same situation, in its place. Even the plastered name of the shop cannot be read from the window because it was covered with a thick sheet of grime that has accumulated there. Upon entering the shop, a faint scent of old wood, old furniture and rusty metals came into his senses. Even inside he can see and feel the oldness of the shop. The light that was emitted by the bulb above his head was abnormally dim, maybe due to the dusts and web that have been uncleaned.

It was a weekend, specifically a Sunday morning. His father was stationed in the cashier, which can easily be spotted for upon entering it is the first thing to be seen on the right side of the shop.

"Good morning, Tay," he greeted his father while taking his right hand to his forehead. Mr. Perez gave him a slight nod. "Where is Nanay?" he asked. "There at the back," his father answered pointing at the location of his mother. If only he looked around, he would not have asked for her location was easy to spot. She was sitting on an inclined chair while reading the daily newspaper. His height of six feet would have been useful because the shelves inside their shop were barely four feet which would have allowed him to look around.

He greeted his mother as well and asked her what the news was about. He sat on the chair beside her. They had a little chit chat, being disturbed only by entertaining the customers coming in. After a while, he stood and walk towards the nearly opaque window.

As he was looking through it, his thoughts drifted to the events that happened to him for the past weeks. The weather, the shop, his parents, and what the future holds for them.

Today, the sun was shining brightly in the sky. It dries up the tears of the sky that had fallen from it. It seems like something cheered the sky up for it was brightly smiling.

He noticed the dusts that have accumulated in the exterior part of their shop. The rain had come yet it was not washed away, it had remained in its place. The changing weather might have made it stubborn and its hold to the surface strong. It was like an individual, his stubborness increases as time passes by. Also, his experiences make him strong, strong enough to hold onto life. Varying weather and different experiences, made the dirt and the person stubborn and hold onto the surface and life strong. A rain or a storm, or problems, may come to his life that sometimes made him want to loosen his hold, made him want to give up. But he sure know that it will soon stop and the sun will come and dry it up, and that this problem he can solve. Ryan thought that he was like this stubborn dust, strong and persistent.

He thought of his parents, they have experienced lots of things. It seems like they have lost their reason to live. He knows that, because even he had that feeling as well. That time had stood still, that he does not want time to continue. He was able to move on but his parents were not able to. His studies helped him; he had something to focus on unlike his parents. Their house and the shop were full of his brother's memories that may be the reason why his parents were not able to move on. They were always haunted by his memories.

When he was out of his trance, he looked at the time. It was thirty minutes past twelve noon. He decided to have lunch. He went to Camarin, the nearest restaurant in their shop. As he was about to enter, he saw Gagamba, he was a sweepstake vendor. He occasionally buys one from him. “Hey, Gagamba!” he greeted him.

“Ryan,” Gagamba said.

“I’ll buy one,” he told Gagamba. He got his wallet from his back pocket and got some bills. He gave it to Gagamba and he said “Thank you.”

He got inside the restaurant and took a seat near the door. He ordered his food and while waiting for his meal, he drifted to his thoughts again. He decided to renovate their house and help his parents move on with their lives. And enjoy the remaining time they have. He will let them take a vacation maybe that will help. He will have their shop cleaned as well. He will have it renovated to something that is alive unlike the state it is in now, gloomy and sad.

“Yes, that is what I am going to do.”

By that time it was a minute to one pm.

nalimutan

Normal na araw ng linggo...

gigising ng mga 10am, manood saglit, kakain, maliligo, magbibihis, aalis na,

pero bago yun, sisiguraduhin muna na walang nakalimutang dalhin. Pero nung linggo, may nakalimutan ako dalhin, yung cellphone ko. Ewan ko ba kung bakit hindi ko nadala. dati naman, lagi ko siyang hawak bago umalis. Parang lutang lang ako. haha

Di ko naman malalaman na nakalimutan ko eh, nagkataon lang na may mga naka-save na mga pahina ng mga istorya mula sa site na Wattpad na nais kong basahin. Kaya ayun, naalala ko. Ngunit nung maalala ko ay huli na, ako'y nakasakay na ng traysikel na maghahatid sa akin sa may sakayan ng dyip. Sayang, kung sana ay naalala ko agad.

Nung mga panahong napag-alaman ko na nakalimutan ko ang aking cellphone ay medyo nalungkot ako. Lagi ko kasi siyang kasama at ginagamit., lalo na kapag wala akong ginagawa at gusto kong wag muna gumawa nang mga bagay na dapat gawin. haha katamaran eh?

nung malaman ko na hindi ko siya nadala, parang nakadama ako ng kahungkagan. :) haha. Pero totoo, parang bigla na lang may kulang! Hindi maganda sa pakiramdam.

Yung pakiramdam na kahit hindi mo ginagamit, alam mong andiyan lang siya at maaari mong magamit ay iba sa pakiramdam na hindi mo siya magagamit kasi wala na siya sa iyo.

Pero siguro may magandang maidudulot iyon sa akin. malalaman ko, Isang buong linggo ko din siya hindi magagamit eh..

As it flow in my mind

Love? Ano ba ang love? Paano mo malalaman kung love talaga ang nararamdaman mo? Bakit dahil diyan marami nasasaktan? Nag-aaway? Nagkaka-galit? Nawawalan ng pag-asa sa buhay?
Others thought of it as something a person need in life? Bakit di ka ba mabubuhay pag wala ka nun? May iba ka pa namang bagay na kailangan para mabuhay ka ah.
Bakit maraming nagtatangkang magpakamatay dahil sa pagkabigo sa pag-ibig? There were some who really did took his own life due to a broken heart. A broken hearted person must not consider suicide as an answer to his sorrow. If it isn't for you then move on. Love comes and love goes. She would have stayed with you if you really are for each other, if you really are meant to be. Maybe it's just fate's way of telling you that she's not for you. That there will be somebody out there who can love you longer and stronger than her love for you.
Pag nasaktan ka, hayaan mo lang ang sarili mo na masaktan. Parte yan ng buhay. Di naman tayo robot na hindi masasaktan kapag may nanakit sa atin. Pero sana maisip mo ito, hindi dahil nasaktan ka niya, lahat na ng taong makikila mo o mamahalin mo eh katulad niya na sasaktan ka rin. Kaya pag dumating na yung oras kung kailan magmamahal kang muli, sana wala ka nang hinanakit sa puso mo. Pag dumating na talaga yung panahong iyon dapat ready kang tanggapin kahit na anong mangyari. At dapat sa simula pa lang, alam mo na na maaari kang masaktan ulit. Para ka kasing pumayag sa isang package deal pag nagmahal ka. Kasama nung love yung pain sa package. Both of you'll feel love. But there will come a time where pain will come your way. And, pain can either be this way: a) you'll be the one to cause it or b) you'll be the one to experience it. Masakit man isipin pero sa pag-mamahal ganyan talaga ang nangyayari. Pero wag ka mag-alala hindi naman lahat ng love diyan napupunta. There are some who were able to find love that last, who were happy with the love they found. That's why don't be afraid to love. Sabi nila, masarap daw magmahal. That is if the love you have is the love that is meant for you. And, if that's the love you found, then you are one lucky person. Basta eto tatandaan mo, pag nagmahal ka i-enjoy mo lang. Kahit alam mo na nandiyan lang si pain at naghihintay ng right time para umatake, wag mo gamitin iyon na dahilan para hindi ka maging masaya sa nararamdaman mo para sa kanya. May posibilidad man na masaktan ka o masaktan mo siya, isipin mo lang lagi na may chance pa rin kayo for a happy ending. Na kahit ano pang pagsubok kaya niyong dalawa basta nandiyan kayo para sa isa't isa.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
I think this fits the situation when love is shared by two persons.
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
siguro kaya ko nasasabi yan dahil di ko pa naman nararanasan ang magmahal ng isang tao na di kayang tumbasan ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. Magmahal? Oo, siguro nga naramdaman ko na. In my 18yrs of existence, maybe I was able to experience it. But unlike most of the love other people experienced, it didn't stay long.

I'll end it here. Forgive me for code-switching. I'm not really sure if I can use that term to refer to my way of writing in this post. v(",
Actually, I've heard that word from my prof in eng2 this sem, she said they were allowed to do code switching during the discussion, so the students will be able to follow in the discussion in case they weren't able to.
Oh! Yeah, you read it right, i'm taking up eng2 for the 3rd time now. BTW, if I remember it right, the meaning of code switching was the use of 2 languages in our case, English and Filipino.

This will be the time when I decided to make you(future self) to be the one I am talking to. It's kind of crazy talking to nobody, you know. c",) also, I might consider changing your title. (^_^) that's all for now.

Fudolig's speech

1. Familiarity(paragraph 1, lines 2-6)
humor
activity
2. Real illustration. Yes because I can somehow relate to it.
3. Expression of personal intention. It line of persuade me to do what she wants the graduates to do.
4.
5.

This one's in Filipino.
c",)

Ewan ko bA. Feeling ko nabaliktad ang pangyayari. Ako ngayoN ang nag-iintay, nag-iintay sa text ng isang taoNg mukhang walang balak mag-reply sa mga text ko. Naisip ko, bka naman ako lang ang nakakadama nito. Maaari din naman na hndi niya naramdaman at naranasan ang uncertainty na nararamdaman ko ngayon sa pag-iIntay ng reply niya sa mga text ko.
haay, buhay nga naman. Tama nga ang kasabihang "parang isang gulong ang buhay ng tao". Paikot-ikot lang. Lahat tayo, mararanasan ang mga bAgay na dinaranas ng iba(maaari nga lang na hindi pa sa mga panahong ito). Ika nga "that's part of life". At lahat ng mga pangyayari, noon, ngayon at sa hinaharap, ay nakatakda na noon pa. Lahat iyon ay napapanahon, iyon ay para matutuhan natin ang mga bagay na dapat nating malaman at maintindihan sa tamang oras. Para sa ating pagharap sa buhay, alam na natin kung ano ang tamang gawin kapag naharap muli sa sitwasyong iyon.


I've written(or i must say typed) this week/s before the start of classes. I decided to post this due to an unexpected event.
I subscribed to one of the promos of Globe, it was the one-hr internet which is valid for a day. This is because I wanted to visit a site i usually viewed. When I got to the site, it was being upgraded. Due to this upgrade, I wasn't able to read(or save) the chapter/s of the story I'd like to read. What irritates me more was, the time the upgrade started was the exact time i subscribed to the promo.
In case you want to know what the site is, it's 'wattpad'. My sister was the one who told me about the site. It was a site where you can read written works by all types of people. The works can be anything, stories fanfics, short stories poems, books(i'm nOt sure if there really are). And all sorts of genre, romance, adventure, sci-fi, suspense,etc. The writers/authors upload the chapters of the stories they are working on. There are some who upload faster than the others, which I prefer because that means I'll be able to know what happens next. c",) I found some stories from that site interesting. Those stories were actually the reason why I occasionally subscribe to the promo of Globe.ü

Wow! This is quite long, hope I didn't bore you with this.

(Don't worry 'bout the unnamed character I mentioned above. That was just some)

I haven't seen you for a long time. How are you?, the last time i saw you was that day we went to that amusement park last year. We had the chance of meeting each other before 2010 ends, but you're parents didn't allow you and/or you don't want to see her yet. I was kind of disappointed with how you acted that time. You told me you're coming, i thought you really are coming, but you didn't. I was expecting you, then that day before the get together you texted. You're not coming. 'feeling ko niloko mo lang ako'. But, i understand why you did that. You're not yet ready. I'm glad you came, though the others didn't. I hope you understand why he didn't come. He just needed more time.

Blank posts

I posted something but it seems like it is nothing., :(
i'm sure i have written lots of things. When i posted it, there was nothing. What the. . . maybe it was too long.,ü
oh fine., my fault. :D

useLESS human being

Congratulations!!!!

Congratulations to you little sister!!!
One more university... Hope all of you will pass in the entrance exam of San Beda...
I know you and your classmates can pass it. Just do your best...

IT!!!

I am sorry...
I don't know why I ended up with this decision, but I can't continue attending my class.
It is my fault. Due to my insensitivity, irresponsibleness, cowardice, and whatsoever, I've decided to drop it. This might cross your mind, Ano ba iyan, magdr-drop ka na naman? Ganyan din ginawa mo nung nag-Eng2 ka last second sem,ah. Maybe you can't understand why. I am not forcing anyone to understand me, and I don't expect anyone to understand me. Just to have an explanation....

I am having a hard time in the subject itself, why? Maybe because of my professor. How he discuss things, how he approach the subject, how he relay the things he is teaching to us, how he teach us.
Urgh... Thinking about it, I don't know why I am even planning to do so... :(
I wasn't able to comply with whatever it is he requires us to do and pass. I dunno, Maybe it was because of his high expectations on us. And I don't wanna feel the feeling I hate. What? yung parang ang hina hina mo, parang wala kang alam something like that. though sometimes I know what he is discussing in class, but I just can't make myself raise my hand and recite. Because I know that after i answered there will follow up questions that i may not be able to answer... :)

tut tut tut tut tut tut